family matters :
GIVING THANKS
Cynthia was held at gunpoint for
hours while her home was robbed.
During that terrifying time, she
vowed that if she made it out alive,
she would change her life. “I realized
I had a very rich life and the things I
was complaining about were
irrelevant,” she recalls. “It’s the
smaller things that really matter.
Before I lost my parents, I didn’t
realize they were so nurturing every
day. You have to look at what people
do for you, and take time to look at
life around you,” she adds. “I have a
pond in my backyard and seeing my
dog swim in it, looking at these
mountains and the blue sky, a new
little flower coming up in the yard-
each is something to be grateful for.”
Sometimes it’s tough to adopt a
grateful approach when we maybe
facing foreclosure or trying to cope
with ever-rising prices for necessi-
ties such as fuel, milk, and food.
But it
is
possible—and important—
to make time every day to acknowl-
edge and express gratitude, even if
it’s only for the smallest things,
which can add up.
Start a gratitude journal Every
night, Kay Paumier, of Fremont,
California, has a “best part of the
day” discussion with her husband
and jots those best parts down in her
gratitude journal. “I find myself look-
ingout for that moment, thinking,
‘This could be the best part of the
day.’ Keeping the journal helps
remind me to be more aware, and it
doubles my appreciation of all the
good things that happen,” she says.
Set a goal for saying “please”
and “thank you” Showing
appreciation for nice gestures has
a pay-it-forward benefit—you feel
good giving thanks and so do the
people receiving your appreciation,
which makes them more likely to
show gratitude to others. “Whether
it’s in the grocery store or in your
workplace, be aware when some-
body does something kind for you,”
says A Network for Grateful Living’s
Patricia Carlson.
Make an effort to do something
good No matter how small that
effort might be, being a daily do-
gooder sharpens your own apprecia-
tion for good things done to you, and
pays big dividends in your sense of
gratitude and well-being. Tuck
plastic bags into your purse or pocket
and fill them with litter as you walk.
Read the news with an eye toward
the positive; instead of feeling down
about local or global troubles in the
news, find a way to help. Making a
small donation or volunteering can
turn a bad story into a good one.
Connect with people Make a point
of disconnecting from e-mail or the
TV and interacting with others.
“We’ve never been surrounded by
more people than we are right now,
but we’ve never been more discon-
nected either,” Froh says. He
suggests visiting people you value, or
those who may need human contact
—an elderly relative or neighbor.
“These visits lead to more happi-
ness,” Froh says. “Those connections
make all the difference.” i®
GRATITUDE RESOURCES
■ FIND CREATIVE IDEAS FOR PRACTICING GRATEFULNESS EVERY DAY AT THE WEB SITE FOR A NETWORK
FOR GRATEFUL LIVING (
[GRATEFULNESS.ORG
).
■ READ BOOKS ON GRATITUDE. SOME TO CHECK OUT:
THANK YOU POWER: MAKING THE SCIENCE
OF GRATITUDE WORK FOR YOU,
BY DEBORAH NORVILLE;
DISCOVERING YOUR INNER SAMURAI,
BY
DR. SUSAN L. REID; AND
ATTITUDES OF GRATITUDE AND GIVING THANKS,
BY M.J. RYAN.
■ SCHEDULE REGULAR GRATITUDE CALLS— BY PHONE OR IN PERSON— W ITH FRIENDS OR FAMILY
MEMBERS. USE THAT TIME TO GO BEYOND SMALL TALK. TELL EACH OTHER WHAT YOU’RE
THANKFUL FOR.
D
a i l y T h a n k s
Finding things to be thankful for is easy,
ifyoutakethetim etolook.
Give thanks at the table
Every timeyour family sits down fora
meal, ask each person what was good
about that day.
Hugs are always good
Kissing and hugging a loved one is a great
way to show appreciation. And if the kids
see your affection for each other, it will
make them feel loved, too.
Stop the whining
Wheneverthe kids begfor something in
the store, have them name two or three
toys or games they already have at home
that they are grateful for.
Get outside
Nothing helps stave off a bad mood like
bright sunshine and fresh air. Go outside
for a few minutes every day, take a
family walk, and give thanks for the
thingsthat give you joy and make your
life worth living, suggests Jackie Lapin,
author of
TheArtofConsciousCreation.
280
NOVEMBER 2008 BETTER HOMES AND GARDENS
PHOTO: VEER
